Literary Feast Discussion: Ship Breaker (Chapters 13 through 17)

Hello again, few but dear readers.  How goes life?  Monica and I are still making our way through Paolo Bacigalupi's Ship Breaker.  Our thoughts about chapters 13-17 are below.  We'd love to hear what you think of the book in the comments, few but dear readers.

Shel:  After taking a few days off and picking up this book once more, I can't believe some of the characters' names.  It makes me wonder what my name would be if I lived in the Ship Breaker world.  I imagine I would be something like "Whiney Girl," since I'd constantly complain about the working conditions and lack of sanitation.  How about you?

Monica:  Oh, I’d be Stumbles, for sure.  Because—and trust me on this—if I had to do be doing any of the running / wire cutting / fighting that these kids are doing on a daily basis, I’d be black and blue and blistered and crippled.  Clumsy is my middle name.

Whiney Girl:  I like that Tool turns out to be a good guy.  Yay, Tool!

Monica:  His name is strange but we love him!!!  I wonder if we’re ever going to find out his whole back story…  To be honest, he might be my favorite character of the whole book.

Shel:  See, at first, I was willing to cheer on Lucky Girl, but she is proving to be a little too manipulative for my tastes.  I do like Tool.  But just as Lucky Girl is too manipulative, he seems a little too wise.  

Shel:  I like the tension over how similar Nailer is to his father.

Monica:  And how desperate Nailer is for it to not be true.  Poor Nailer.  If my daddy was a crazy drunken killer-type person, I’d have disowned him by now.  But family loyalty wins out, I guess, at least for now.

Shel:  And I quote:  "It's human nature to tear one another apart.  Be glad you come from such a successful line of killers" (p. 175).  Yikies.

Monica:  Upside, he’s ahead in the game!  Look how much more trouble he would have had if he *didn’t* have such a fierce attitude!  (Trying desperately to look on the bright side…?)

Shel:  The bright side is fun!  While I'm enjoying this book, I did feel like the first two part were a little too heavy on the lets sit around and talk.  It's nice to have some more action now.

Monica:  Yeeees.  I liked the finger-cutting moment, but other than that, there was a LOT of exposition.  But now, there’s fighting in the streets!  Running for their lives!  Hooray!! J  (I’m a little bloodthirsty.  I can’t help it.)

Shel:  Never fear, I thirst for blood too...in the only way that a vegetarian can thirst for blood.

Monica:  Nailer is right.  Nita *is* kind of a cold one.  Way to hang Tool out to dry, girl – I like him way more than you, so I’m kind of bothered by your Cringe In The Shadows attitude.  …  On the upside, yay Nailer!  Way to be loyal!

What are your thoughts, cool cats?  Monica and I would love to read your opinions of Ship Breaker.  We'll be back with comments on chapters 18 through 21 by Saturday-ish.  The feast continues then!

Literary Feast Discussion: Ship Breaker (Chapters Seven to Twelve)

Well friends, the eagle-eyed among you will note that it is several days past when we planned on posting. Our illustrious leader, Shel, has been going quietly insane in the confines of her condo (ooh, alliteration!) whilst she struggles to complete her education by... May? Are you trying to finish by May, sweetie? I personally have no excuse whatsoever save for the fact that Library School is kicking my butt -- who on earth decided that statistics were necessary for doing research!?

But anyway. I digress.

On to Ship Breaker! Have you been enjoying it so far, few but dear readers? Is it everything you would hope for and more, in a Printz winner?

Shel: What do you think of Lucky Strike? Good guy or villain? Somewhere in between?

Monica: Somewhere in between, for sure. I don't think he's being painted as a villain, necessarily, but he's definitely scheme-y enough to not be good. Which, honestly, is probably more authentic. Just because you suddenly become wealthy doesn't mean you turn evil... but neither does it mean you are all philanthropic, either. He's obviously keeping what's his, and trying to add to it.

Shel: I love how Pima is so dismissive of the new new clothes on the wreckage of the ship. So practical.

Monica: But she does like the pretties, give the girl some credit.

Shel: I also think Pima's reaction to the realization that the supposed dead girl is not so dead: "That's some creepy shit," she said (p. 95). Yes, I agree. But imagine how creepy it is for the supposed dead girl, waking up to two people trying to cut off your fingers and discussing your state as a dead person.

Monica: Um, yes? Yes. The part where they were hauling on her hand and trying to just wiggle the rings off was gross enough. When they actually decided to just hack off her fingers, I felt vaguely like throwing up.....

Shel: I really like that Dead Girl/Lucky Girl/Whatever her real name will be... Nita has some real skills. She's not just some helpless damsel. I'm pretty serious now about wanting her perspective of this story. You hear that, Bacigalupi? Fan fiction writers?

Monica: YES! Fanfiction writers will carry her plot, even if the book fails miserably....

Shel: Although, all of this "blood with blood" stuff is just too unhygienic for my liking. There have got to be blood born diseases in this world. Nita TELL THEM!

Monica: I think they're more worried about how they don't have water. ;)

That's it for now, kids! Join us next time (I'm going to throw out Next Saturday as a date, and cross my fingers that we make the deadline) for a discussion of chapters thirteen through nineteen. As always, feel free to toss out your own thoughts in the comment section!

Literary Feast Discussion: Ship Breaker (Chapters One through Six)

Okay, so instead of getting this posted on ThursFriday, it's officially going up on Monday.  A time that is solidly and squarely three days late....

But that's okay!!!!!!  Because Ship Breaker just won the American Library Association's Printz Award, which is for young adult literature.  YAAAAAAY!  So this timing works out, right?  Right.

Comments on the first six chapters are below.  We'd love to hear your thoughts as well!

Monica: Oooh. The book may disappoint us, but I'm LOVING the opening! I feel all gritty and disgusting and cramped, just like poor Nailer. Brava for the imagery, author!

 Shel: It's official, I could never be a scavenger like Nailer. I wouldn't say I'm *actually* claustrophobic, but once as a kid I climbed under a huge, low deck in a park for some secret club meeting. I had to wiggle my way out, my back against the deck, my front scratched by wood chips. That day I learned that small spaces are not fun. I was a bit of a slow seven-year-old.

 Shel:  I like all of the religious elements.  I'm curious to see where they lead.
 

Monica: I'm wondering how far in the future this takes place. Has that been established yet? It would be interesting to see what "old" versions of religions remain in the new... and now long it apparently took to shift over. ;)

Shel:  Poor Jackson Boy...even if he was a little licebiter, that's a bad way to go.  (See above comment and the fact that this book is reminding me of my possible claustrophobia.)  

Monica: Best. Ghost story. Ever. Seriously, can you even imagine? "Hear that thumping, tiny child? That's the ghost of JACKSON BOY! He haunts these bulkheads...."

 Shel:  So far, all of the detailed descriptions and analogies are impressing me.  But I have to say what *truly* drew me in was the ending of chapter two.  Yikes!  You?
 

Monica: Like I mentioned above, I was sold from the opening. He writes like we're actually there... and since I would never, ever ever ever want to BE there, I'm finding it fascinating to read from the warm, clean safety of my living room couch, with a nice glass of clean water next to me.

Shel:  I like all this talk of luck and fate on page 41.  I'm with Pima's mom.  The fates have big plans for Nailer.  BIG PLANS, I say!  (And I don't feel that way just because I read the jacket flap.)

Monica: I hope so -- I don't know if I could take an entire book of Nailer: Copper Scavenger. Or, honestly, Nailer: Abused Child with Terrible, Terrible Father.

 Shel:  With hurricanes and oil spills, this dystopia feels much more immediate than a lot of the other ones out there.

Monica: Yes! Which is both awesome and teeeeeeeeerrible. I usually only like dystopian fiction when it seems far enough away that I don't need to worry about it.

Shel:  And now the book was just announced as winning the 2011 Printz!!!!!  Victory to Paolo Bagi...Bacigad...Bacigalupi!!!!!!!  YAY!

So, now that you know what Monica and I thought of the beginning, we'd love to hear your thoughts.  And stay tuned, will be back on Fri-Saturday with comments on chapters 7 through 12.  Of course, by Fri-Saturday, I could possibly mean next Tuesday.  We'll have to see.

Literary Feast Discussion: Hush, Hush (The End!)

So, the below post is beeeeeeeeeeeeyond late, few but dear readers.  If I said one of us just didn't want to finish the book because we were so in love with it and with Patch would you believe me?

...

No, I didn't think so.

Well, on to our concluding thoughts of Hush, Hush.  Keep in mind, spoilers abound!  And also, whether you agree or disagree with what Monica and I have to say about the book, we'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

Heartsies!



Shel: I don't really understand how I'm supposed to feel about the scene in the women's restroom of the movie theater. Is this a knowledge dump? (*snort* dump in the bathroom.) or is this a romantic couple-y moment? Because the vital information is being given in such an off-hand manner and I'm not feeling the sexual tension....

Monica: I mostly just like how it played out all kidnappy. "Stand up and walk out of the theater," growls Patch. "No funny business, now -- don't make me hurt you!"


No lie, though, I did laugh when the guy sitting by Nora tried to bribe her with his soda, to shut her up. If only it was that easy....

Shel: Dabria disappeared way too easily. Obviously she'll pop up in later books, but still, disappointing.

Monica: What, the phrase "All taken care of" was too pat for you? ;) I was kind of bored of her, no lie, so I guess I don't really mind that we didn't get to see some sort of semi-epic battle between her and Patch, whilst he tore off her wings and she shrieked a lot. Yick.

Shel: And I quote: "I could smell the fear on my breath" (p. 357). How does that work? Is fear something that is sniffable in one's breath? Is this a common human experience? Have I just never been frightened enough to smell fear on my own breath? I'll admit, I'm not big on smelling my own breath, but...Monica, am I an abnormal human being or a normal one in this case?

Monica: Oh my God, I didn't even NOTICE that one! Thank you, thank you for pointing it out -- imagine if I hadn't gotten the opportunity to giggle at Nora once more, before the end.... I imagine that her senses are just SUPER AWESOME. After all, she can already tell that the hallways are radiating a hidden menace, and she can also control the weather so that perfectly-timed shafts of light from the moon keep illuminating key plot points. Smelling her own fear seems like it would be EASY, comparatively.

Shel: So, for the entire scene in which Nora is running around the school, being attacked/looking for Vee, I just kept thinking, "WHERE THE FRAK IS PATCH?" but I was also fully aware that he'd inexplicably show up at just the right moment to save Nora (cause us ladies can't save ourselves).

Monica: Nope! We can scream well, and occasionally run, and every once and a while summon up some tiny spark of rebellion, but apparently in the end we a) always need rescuing and b) always give in to the will of our strong, potentially abusive maybe-boyfriends. Good times.

Shel: When Nora is all, "I wish I had one more minute with Patch, another shared laugh (what laughs?!) on page 378, I couldn't help but want to add "another moment when I thought he was stalking me/trying to kill me. OR BEST OF ALL--BOTH!"

Monica: No laughs. Have they *ever* laughed together? Patch occasionally smiles, but it's always "pinched around the corners" or else it's a "fox smile." Not what I would want more of, to be honest.


But you're right! Perhaps she longs for more moments where she turns around and he's staring at her like a total creeper, or moments where he's forcing her to sleep in the same bed as him, or moments where her mind is screaming, "No, no, I don't like him" but her heart is saying "Well, maybe stalking is how he says he loves me?"

Shel: I know *I'd* want more of those moments. I'm having Twilight flashbacks. Once again we have a girl who thinks she'll save the ones she loves by hurting/killing herself.

Monica: "Gasp!" says Nora. "Jules is right! I am weak! I am easy! I shall sacrifice myself!" Sigh. Thank God, Patch is there to possess her body, just in time to save the day. Because then, you see, it's *like* she is defeating evil, only she doesn't have to do anything, and can use the strength of her creeptastic boyfriend(?) rather than her own.


And then, if that's not enough, one can always throw oneself off the rafters, apparently.....

Shel: Victory for the good guys! Also, it's official. If my guardian angel ever makes a move on me (assuming I *have* a guardian angel), I will fire him/it and sue him/it for sexual harassment. Inappropriate conduct in his/its work place.

Monica: It really makes you long for those foofy little cherubs, doesn't it? At least they probably won't watch you undress as per most of the guardian angels we've read about recently...

Shel: Or at the very least, cherubs are wearing little diapers and could be easily pantsed as I yell, "HOW DO YOU LIKE IT, JERK!"

Monica: I'm sorry, but at least Edward acted like he loved Bella. Do you get *any* sense that Patch cares about Nora, aside from the fact that he apparently didn't accept her Hurled Off The Rafters sacrifice? I get the cat toying with a mouse feeling, but not the omg our love is eternal type of one.


Monica: Okay Shel, admit it. What are your final thoughts? Me, I'm giving this a solid "Meh," coupled with "I'm so glad that this type of book wasn't around during my formative years, because I'm pretty sure my understanding of love, as well as my overall self-esteem, would have suffered."

Shel: No lie? I'm pretty 'meh' myself, coupled with confusion over how many people are going crazy over this series. I'm just not feeling that Patch is in any way sexy. I do think the author does a good job of creating an eerie gothic setting though.

And without further ado, Hush, Hush has been added to our stalker scale:

Monica and I may take a couple of weeks off before our next feast.  We both need to recover from all this stalker craziness.  Plus, I have dissertation related stress.  (So fun!)

Best wishes to you all.  Feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments.  (Or don't feel free...feel required!)

Literary Feast Discussion: Hush, Hush (Chapters 19-24)

Hey all! We're back, with our second-to-last installment of Hush, Hush, which, I have to tell you, Shel and I are just loving.

...

And by "loving," I mean we keep asking ourselves, "Is there a new way for us to express how creepy we find everyone? Or should we just not reiterate it, and try to bluff our way through the rest of the novel?"

Bluffing aside, however, our comments on chapters 19 - 24 are below. Feel free to jump in with comments of your own -- we may be the only people on earth who loathe this book, so definitely try to convince us otherwise if you're a fan. ;)

Shel: At first I felt like Nora got to the "Patch's scars match those of the fallen angel in that mural I saw that one time" place too quickly, but then I remembered being so annoyed that it took Bella sooooooo long to figure out Edward was a vampire in Twilight. How did you feel about it?

Monica: I... yes. I think it's okay. It was a *little* fast, but honestly, can you think of a way that she would have learned about it? At least Bella had websites and stuff; I think the likelihood of Nora being able to google "funny shoulder marks" and learn about fallen angels is a slimmer one. So murals it is!

Shel: Of course, she did still find the exactly right information on falling angels on the first website she visited.

Monica: ::: laughs ::: Her search engine must be epic, because when *I* type in "angel wing scars," my first five links are to tattoo websites, and the sixth is to a review of Hush, Hush. Once again, deus ex machina saves the daaaaay!

On the other hand, at least we're FINALLY getting somewhere with the angels. Were you getting as frustrated as me, Shel, waiting for them to pop up? It's the danger of having a fallen angel in both the cover and the tag line -- we have to wait to get into the action until Nora finally figures it out....

Shel: I know, I was excited to finally have a little angle action. Not that I think of angels as being action-oriented. This is what? The second book we've read about romantically inclined angels? I still have trouble viewing angels as sexual beasties.

On another tangent, Nora's trip to Portland turned tragic fast. On the plus side, Portland, Maine seems to be home to ladies with attitude. I'll have to keep that in mind if I ever travel there.

Monica: Looking to pick up your own tragically fallen angel? Who... will basically force you into the shower? Yick. I think I would have rather stayed in my soaking wet clothes, instead of going through the drama of Patch In The Dark. What do you think?

Shel: I don't know, Monica, when I face potential rapists/killers in a sleazy hotel room, I think the only way to do it is in undies and a camisole. Duh. Movies taught me that much.

Monica: Just don't kiss on the mouth! That way lies tragedy and Richard Gere!

Shel: Nothing says "sexy" like "when we first met, I was trying to kill you.

Monica: Ah, welcome to the world of paranormal romance. If the threat of death isn't ever present, the relationship has absolutely no chance of working out.

Okay kids -- let's get this over with. Our comments on chapters 25 onwards will be up on Wednesday. Read, read if you still have it in you! Perhaps the finale will redeem itself!?!?

Literary Feast Discussion: Hush, Hush (Chapters 13-18)

Hello again, Few But Dear Readers!

I know, I know, this commentary is a day late.  But in our defense, somebody's [my] university email account keeps automatically putting somebody else's [Monica's] emails in the junk folder.  IT also does this with my students' emails.  Way to go, University.  Way to go.

Any-hoo, lets not focus on the university's flawed email system.  There is Hush, Hush to tear apart, I mean, discuss.  (It would seem that as our feminist sensibilities are flaring up and causing both Monica and I to get a wee-bit...frustrated with the book.  But more on that below.)


CHAPTERS 13-18

Shel: Wow, Nora wrote flirting tips on the back of her list of interrogation questions about Patch. While funny, you'd think that would be a clue that SOMETHING IS OFF!

Monica: I have decided to just try and suspend reality where she is concerned. It’s like she has gotten herself so enmeshed with this dude that she can’t even think straight. I would say she’s in a cult, or in an abusive relationship, only it’s not EITHER yet. She’s just stupid. Sigh.

Shel: Okay, so I'm with Nora on having trouble believing that Vee and Jules are together. I suppose she's just being manipulated into some grand nefarious plot.

Monica: We haven’t even *seen* Jules! Go Nora, go! Save your friend! Vee’s going to get into trouble, I can sense it all ready. And I really do like Vee; I don’t want her brains to be eaten when it turns out Jules is a zombie, or something.

Shel: Mmm, zombies. That would be a fun less-scary twist for this book. But on a more serious note, I like that Nora's mom tries to distinguish between "thinking your in love" and "being in love." I kind of wish that was explored some more.

Monica: Of course, since the moral of her mother’s story apparently was, “If you think hard enough about being in love it eventually turns into real love,” I’m not sure Nora will really benefit from it. “Hmm,” she will say to herself. “I don’t know if I love Patch, but according to Mom if we stick it out, we’ll end up in love! Yay!” No. No, Nora.

Shel: It is sadly hilarious that Nora thinks the guy who is "too nice" is creepy. It's a close step to the mentality that a girl should suspect something is wrong if her boyfriend actually treats her well.

Monica: Shel, has there been any discussion about what the author intended with this book? As I’m reading your comments, and my comments, there’s a definite pattern here of Weak Female Character Overwhelmed by Threatening Male Character, and I don’t like it. Plus, as mentioned above, the implication that Nora should not believe in her own instincts (don't worry if you're just "thinking you're in love," it will eventually become "being in love") is eerie.

Shel: Along those lines, I find myself writing 'WTF' or 'Ick' a lot in the margins. Am I alone in this?

Monica: NO. Well, sort of – I’m using sticky notes, since it’s a library book. But I definitely have comments like, “If my friend was saying this to me I would make her get counseling,” and “Is there no one sane in this novel?” and “Way to not give us any healthy relationships, author.”

Shel: Okay, I admit that I do like the thought of Nora taking the initiative and figuring out what happened with the hanging. Of course, she hasn't *done* anything yet....

Monica: No, but at least she’s all “Something bad! Something bad is coming!” And I like how she’s not immediately leaping to think it’s Patch; it’s sort of nice, I guess, that she can think of someone other than him every once in a while?

Shel: Maybe. But if a guy took me to his usual bar hang out (where a man had died previously) on a first date, I would steal his car to drive away and then torch the evidence.

Monica: I think it's official. We would totally be handling this entire book differently than the characters are choosing to. ;)


And with that, we'll leave you for the night.  But we'd love to hear what you think of the book in the comments.  That'd keep us busy until we can discuss chapters 19 to 24 on...Suuuuuunday-ish?

Literary Feast Discussion: Hush, Hush (Chapters 6-12)

Aaaaand, we're back.  Ready to discuss the next round of Hush, Hush.  And we're only a day late in posting.  That's pretty good for us, right?  Right.

We know that our response to the book isn't the same to all you all other readers out there.  So, we'd love to hear your thoughts on the book.

So, let's get down to the talking part....


Shel: Wait! Elliot has P.E. TWICE a day and his two classes are separated by a couple of hours?! Ick! I can think of no Hell worse!

Monica: But it’s okay! He’s hot and buff! So really, everyone benefits – he gets his gym credits in, and everyone else gets to watch him getting his gym credits in!

Shel: I suppose. I'd just hate to be in his position. But I have to say, I kinda like Elliot. He isn't creepy. I have no doubt he'll turn out to be the son of satan, an evil angel, demon or something of that sort.

Monica: The nice ones always are. It’s as though authors cannot imagine a world in which a guy is both politely flirty, and not a serial killer. “Blaha, behind my kind façade lurks a crazed madman with eyebrows that go in all different directions.” Which is too bad, because I totally agree – he’s kind of darling. I will miss him when he goes all crazy-like.

Shel: Stupid having to look beyond the surface to see if someone is truly good or evil.

Monica: Seriously! ;) Nora, Nora Nora. Please stop hanging out with Patch. When you can admit to yourself that the man "outwardly frighten[s]" you, it's time to back away. And girl, I don't care that his touch is sending Hot Sensations down your legs. Look at your life, look at your choices. I'd drop Elliot too, because of his aforementioned inevitable descent into evil. Grab Vee, and the three of us will go find some nice men who will love you without threatening you. Yes? Yes.

Shel: Yes!

Monica: Stephanie Meyer has ruined me for any sort of Supernatural Creatures Playing Baseball scenes, no lie. ;)

Shel: Ha, I hadn't even made that connection.

Monica: Has Becca Fitzpatrick ever *been* on a roller coaster? For real? Because seriously, I cannot name a single time I have ever gone on a new, revamped coaster and had the very back and the very front be free, but all the boring middle seats be filled. And while Patch might be rigging it with his brain waves, I feel like Nora should have noticed the discrepancy. ALSO. Lap belts are the only safety feature? A roller coaster featuring a 100-foot vertical drop, and they're in cars with doors that open on the sides, and lap belts that buckle?! ... Back me up on this, Shel. I feel like I'm ranting.

Shel: Yeah, it's very hard to believe. It'd be one thing if it was a carnival that skirted the laws or an old coaster that hadn't been brought up to spec. But this was very hard to believe. Unless of course, part of the reality bending involved not allowing Nora to see the safety bars that were keeping her shoulders in place.

Monica: His brain must have powers of epic proportions... one wonders why he bothers with creepy-flirting at all, and doesn't just take over her mind....?

Shel:  P.S. What is up with all of these "dangerous situation X happens, no wait it didn't, did it?" moments?

Monica: Whiplash. Obviously the author hopes that if she throws us around enough, we won't notice the fact that Vee appears to be the only semi-sane character in the entire novel.

Shel: So, after Patch drives her home on her motorcycle...that scene gave me the sceevies. This book is not paranormal romance. It is HORROR. *shudders*

Monica: And he has her *keys*, and he has a *knife*, and he's making her phone wonk out. Honestly, if they make this into a film, I don't know how they're going to convince anyone that it's sexy. It absolutely screams terror, for sure.

Shel: I just read the computer lab scene. Soooo, Elliot turned evil super-quick. Everyone in the book is creepy. Creepy. Creepy. Even the new psychologist. CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPY! Except Vee. Poor Vee. I might grab Vee and pull her out of the novel and leave all the rest to their creepy fates.

Monica: ::: LAUGHS ::: That's what we get for writing comments as we read the chapters; we can still like someone at the beginning of the section, only to have him go all STALKER at the end. ;)


So, are we in for more creepy stalker action in the next section?  You'll have to join us in reading Hush, Hush to find out.  We'll be taking on chapters 13-18 next.  We'll have it done by...let's say...Tuesday-ish.  Make note of the "ish" at the end of that Tuesday.  It means we have some ishy space to be early or late. Place your bets on which one we'll be.

Enjoy your reading!

Literary Feast Discussion: Hush, Hush (Chapters 1-5)

Few But Dear Readers, I was denied a great beauty.  When my copy of hush, hush arrived in the mail it lacked a dust jacket.  I was depressed.  Where was my pretty?

I almost couldn't get over it.  My suffering was so great.

Only Monica's promise that we would read the book together managed to rouse me.

Our thoughts about the first five chapters are below.  Feel free to leave your insights about hush, hush in the comments.

Shel:  Tell me, who describes herself as a "smoky-eyed brunette with volumes of curly hair that holds its own against even the best flatiron.  And I'm all legs, like a bar stool" (p. 9).  Well written, good imagery.  I've just never heard someone say, "Hi, I'm a smoky-eyed brunette" before.

Monica:  I’m not going to lie, it’s kind of refreshing to have a character describe herself good looking, for all that she follows it up with a description of how much better looking her bestie is.  I’m so used to the Bella-type descriptions, “OMG am so disgustingly plain and ugly, how could anyone like me, oh look, yet another ridiculously attractive man is drooling all up in my business….”

Shel:  This is true.  But of course, Nora still manages to be uncoordinated.  Apparently we can't have it all.  I have to say, from first meeting Patch is rocking the creepy vibe.  Why must stalkers be presented as sexy?  Why must this be a trend?  

Monica:  Say it with me, girls!  Stalking!  Is!  Not!  Sexy!  If there is a man who is a) watching you sleep, b) staring at you in a bizarre fashion for any length of time, c) telling you disturbingly accurate personal information about yourself, or d) expressing that you’re “Not what he expected” whilst gazing into your eyes and looking like he wants to eat you, GET AWAY FROM HIM AND CALL SOMEONE WHO CAN HELP.  Like Buffy.  Or Harry Dresden.

Shel:  If possible, I'd have Buffy on my speed dial.  I think when we finish this book we're going to have to add it to our Stalker Scale.  *claps*  Also, why the name Patch?  It makes me think of a stuffed dog.

Monica:  I’m assuming “Patch” is short for something, like Apatchapherialazaringal, and we’ll learn about in the presumably-upcoming big reveal.

Shel:  You're probably right.  But don't be too surprised if in the meantime I start referring to him as Patches and start cooing about his fuzzy little ears.  Who's a good puppy?  Muh-muh-muh.

Monica:  Wrong genre, Shel!  He’s not a werewolf, he’s a… actually, I don’t know exactly what he is, yet.  I assume some angely-type critter……

Shel:  Such an awkward classroom conversation.  What are your top three qualities for a potential mate?  Here are mine:  gentle...dumb...and easily manipulated.  Where does that leave the future of humanity?  That biology class needs to rebel against that coach/teacher.

Monica:  Dude, I’m finding the coach fairly stalkerish as well, really.  He seems to be breaking any number of classroom conduct rules.  I don’t care what he’s told them; I would be recording Biology like it was my job, via both video and a hidden microphone feed, and if he tried to take them away, I’d shriek about constitutional rights until he either left me alone or let me drop the class.  (This is obviously a function of me reading way too many Bruce Coville books as a child.  I am perpetually ready to assume that my teacher is out to get me.)

Shel:  I'd have a back-up microphone in my bag, just in case one of yours fails to record.  So, how threatened do you think Nora actually feels?  Like, I get the bad boy thing generally.  But if I actually felt threatened by a crush, I think in that moment he would stop being my crush.  Patch certainly is king of making a girl uncomfortable.  I wouldn't want to be his biology partner.

Monica:  Apparently it’s hot when a guy makes you want to hide under your desk?  Seriously, though, Nora.  If a guy makes you uncomfortable, stay away from him.  If the guy makes you uncomfortable and the professor refuses to allow you to stay away from him, contact a person in a position of authority.  What the heck is this book teaching young girls about protecting themselves!?!?

Shel:  I do not know.  And I really don't understand the motive for wanting to write such creepy, icky, fiends as the good guys.  I like a little romantic escape as much as the next girl, but that doesn't mean I want to see the female protagonists abandon their ability to, you know, manage their own bodies and decisions.  I do like Vee and her rapport with Nora, though.  It entertains.

Monica:  I also sympathize with Vee’s diet.  All fruits and vegetables on a color wheel of sorrow?  No thank you.  ;)

One does wonder, though, at what point she’s going to suggest to Nora that Stalker Patch is *not* endearing but rather creeptastic.  That’s kind of a best friend’s job, don’t you think?

Shel:  I don't know, I think she is crushing on Patch too.  I think she's more likely to be jealous.

Monica:  Girls, girls.  Fight over someone who seems like he’s worth it…..

Okay, cool cats and hot dogs, that's it for now.  Never fear, the next course in our literary feast will (hopefully!) post on Thursday.  Probably.  We'll be reading chapters 6-12.

This doesn't mean the discussion of hush, hush has to be put on hold until then.  Let us know what you think of the book!

Literary Feast Invitation: Hush, Hush

Hi friends! We're back, having recovered from the stress of werewolves, sisterly angst, and unrequited longing for scarred subway drum players brought about by Sisters Red. Now, energy restored, we've decided to hit up yet another bastion of angst and unrequited longing -- namely, Becca Fitzpatrick's Hush, Hush.

To be fair, I haven't actually read it before. I'm just assuming the angst and longing from the description on the flap:

A Sacred Oath.
A Fallen Angel.
A Forbidden Love.

Apparently Average Student Nora Grey finds herself irresistibly drawn to the obnoxious but mysterious Patch. Terror and mistrust ensues, along with An Ancient Battle and a Way Unsettling Truth. And presumably lots of romance.

Plus, guys, I'm having kind of a crush moment with the front cover. Take this in, in all its glory.
How can you not want that to fall directly into your lap!? Granted, I'm not completely sure what's up with the guy's lumpy-bumpy left shoulder, but we'll ignore that in favor of drooling. Shel, you up for drooling?

So grab yourself a copy of the book -- we'll be reading up to page 80 (or the end of chapter five, for those of you who dislike page numbers) and will report back next Monday. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get my forbidden love on.

Literary Feast Discussion: Sisters Red (The End!)

Okay, so I don't even remember when I said we'd post our final comments.  How late are we?

Sigh.

I wish I had a good excuse...but I don't.

Check out our final thoughts about Jackson Pearce's Sisters Red.  Keep in mind, spoilers abound.  Read at your own risk!


Shel: And Silas is back in the running for being evil-bad-guy. Color me completely unsurprised. I KNEW IT! *Spikes the football or whatever and does a victory dance*

Monica: I’m not sure if you can do a victory dance if you were totally unsurprised… you should definitely fake a little bit of “OMG, I can’t believe it! I cannot believe that my totally unsubstantiated and wild and crazy thought could POSSIBLY come true!!” And then do the dance. With jazz hands.

Shel: I'm all about the jazz hands. Rosie's tendency to forget her knives is really starting to annoy me. At this point I think the wolves should get a decent bit in. Does that make me mean? I feel mean.

Monica: It is not mean at all. I do not even hunt the Fenris, and I am armed both with pepper spray and a tiny key that transforms into a jackknife. At all times.

Shel: Good point. I have pepper spray, a rape whistle AND I hold my keys like claws when I walk. We are some fierce ladies. No! Not the hair! Not Rosie's dark and beautiful hair!

Monica: But now, she’s all savage! She’s got her hair hacked away, and she’s setting fires, and she has an eye patch and EVERYTHING! I’m liking her quite a bit more now, actually. She should have gotten kidnapped *ages* ago.

Shel: I really do like all of the references to The Allegory of the Cave. And I really like the way the ending has come together. It's distracting me from the fact that in this world, all men seems to be vicious girl-devouring monsters.

Monica: I’m… I’m still having a problem with that actually. No lie. I am really enjoying the book, and I think it’s smart and well-written, but I cannot get over the fact that there are almost no redeemable male characters. They’re all either dangerous, or totally have the potential to be dangerous. (Or they’re awesome and playing the drums in the subway. Hot subway drummer! Call me!)

Shel: I hear you there. After the drummer calls, I 'm going to insist on a performance in my living room. So, what happens in another seven years?

Monica: I am pushing for them to rent a hot air balloon and remain airborne for the entirety of the month. Yes? Yes.

Shel: What's your overall rating?

Monica: I give it a solid 8 out of 10. Like I said, it was well-written and interesting. I’m madly in love with the cover. And I think it’s a cool update of the original story. But the entire time I was reading, I kept thinking, “Dang, author. Did you have a bad breakup and never got over it? Not all men are animals!” It sort of… overshadowed my reading experience. What about you?

Shel: Apparently a companion novel Sweetly is coming out soon. It's a modern retelling of Hansel and Gretel? Will you pick it up?

Monica: Sure! That one has a female character as the villain. ;)

Shel: Great, so now I'm going to have to fear all men AND old ladies. I'll have nobody left!


Okay, cool cats and hot dogs, that ends this literary feast.  We'd love to see your thoughts and opinions of Sisters Red in the comments.

Until next time!

Literary Feast Discussion: Sisters Red (through Chapter 20)

Oh my goodness, Cool Cats!  Would you believe that I dropped into a time warp thingy and that's why this is so late?  Because that's my story.

So, since you've clearly been desperately waiting for a week, lets dive straight in and discuss the third quarter of Sisters Red.

Shel: So, I know you were all, "every guy is a wolf!!!!!! What a skewed sense of danger!" But SERIOUSLY. These fenris (fenrises?) are EVERYWHERE! Damn. I may never leave my house again. Every man is a potential wolf waiting to devour us.

Monica: Which is the thing I'm a little confused by... What is the moral of this!? That the only good guy is the one who has been with you your whole life, except that he might turn out to be evil too?

Shel: I'm confuzzled. Why are there woods by a bowling alley in a city? I don't understand.

Monica: ::: laughs ::: I didn't even THINK about that! Maybe they're just on the very edge of town? Maybe we're supposed to draw some sort of parallel about the creepiness of the woods encroaching on the people-filled city? Maybe it's an editor's error?

Shel: Let's see, "With knowledge comes responsibility." Where have I heard something like that before? I think Spiderman wants its butchered line back.

Monica: I thought that too, for real. It's the problem with epic lines that are both true, and apply to many situations; you're never really able to use them again once they are associated with something famous, or people think you're copying. Like, if Scarlett was all "TELL ME THE TRUTH ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE DOING!" and Rosie was like, "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!" You know?

Shel: I CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!!!!  These relationships could be a case study on co-dependency.

Monica: Or an episode of Jerry Springer, for real. "I'm In Love With A Man Who Might Be A Vampire... And He Is In Love With My Sister!" And the audience goes wiiiild!!

Shel: I would not watch that show.  Wow, this section is an emotional rollercoaster. I may break down and weep, uncertain if I should be overjoyed, angry, depressed. So many emotions!

Monica: I'm staying with "hesitant" and "vaguely worried." I'm not sure how this is all going to turn out.....

Shel: So...how do you feel about Silas's "I always wanted you" confession in chapter 19? I have to say, he lost points with me for that.

Monica: MAJOR POINT LOSING. Seriously, dude, way to phrase it in the most ridiculous way possible. I don't know. Especially since I would definitely have thought he would have viewed her as a younger-sister figure earlier on... eh. I'm not too concerned, though, since probably he's going to end up eating her anyway.


Okay, hot dogs, that's it for this round of the discussion.  Next up, we'll finish the book.  (And hopefully you won't have to starve, waiting for us to update.  HOPEFULLY.  Maybe.  Probably.  We'll see.)

As an I'm sorry offering here are some Sisters Red buttons:  YAYZ!  You luvz us again, right?

Literary Feast Discussion: Sisters Red (Chapters 6 - 11)

Hey kids! Have you all been enjoying Sisters Red thus far? We've tackled chapters six through eleven below, so feel free to read along... and jump into the conversation!

Shel: Okay, so I'm kinda confused. How many fenris are there in the world? Cause it seems like all men, except Silas, are soulless fenriss...fenrises...fenri? (Is this an underlying message about the true nature of men?) But then all the little wolvies are freaking out so much about one wee-baby potential wolf-puppy. It makes me confuzzled.

Monica: Have we met a single non-Fenris guy at this point, aside from Silas!? Hang on. Let me review. There's the crack addict guy in their apartment... the bus driver... Screwtape the Cat... and the dude drumming in the subway. (Side note, I am pretty much in love with him. I'm going to integrate "chickadee" as a term of endearment, as of right now.) So in summary, Shel, you're right. What's up, Jackson Pearce? Are there really no redeemable men in your world!?

Shel: Okay, so the booksmugglers blog had cited chapter seven as being the source of a lot of "blame the victim" ideology in the story. I have to say, I did not get that vibe. While I suppose you could read it that way, I thought most of that scene was about bitter Scarlett behaving bitterly. It goes to the ignorance being bliss/knowledge being a curse tension.

Monica: I... I did actually get that vibe, as I was reading it. Because really? "... everything about them luring the Fenris. Inviting danger like some baby animal bleating its fool head off. Look at me, see how I dance, did you notice my hair, look again, desire me, I am perfect. Stupid, stupid Dragonflies" (108). True, Scarlett does then immediately roll her eyes and reflect on how she will save them anyway, because, wait for it, "Ignorance is no reason to die," but... I can certainly see why people might get up in arms about this chapter.

On the other hand, when HASN'T Little Red Riding Hood been filled with invited sexual tension? The original, with a cute little girl walking alone in the woods in a bright-colored cloak whilst she talked to dangerous strangers... that wasn't exactly subtle either. ;)

Shel: I'm so glad that the story clarified what it meant about being a woodsman. All this time, I'd thought being a woodsman was about being a wolfkiller (a la Little Red Riding Hood). But nope, it turns out it's more of a sweaty Wolverine in Wolverine X-Men Origins sort of job.

Monica: Mmmmmmm.... I like it so much more, now that you've drawn that parallel.... Unfortunately, the only woodsmanesque photo I can find to post looks sort of like he's learning how to fly. Faithful readers, I leave it to you to Google your own Hot Wolverine images at your leisure, if you don't like mine. ;)


Shel: Origami? Really?

Monica: Sure! Why not? Blade Runner managed to make it look badass, and Harrison Ford wasn't even as skilled at throwing knives as Rosie is!

Shel: On second thought, if Rosie can make an Origami Yoda I will totally be jealous. I wanna make a yoda!

Monica: Sweetie, as soon as we are done with this book, we'll learn how.

Shel: I'll bet another five books that the "seventh son of the seventh son" thingy so casually mentioned is going to be the key to who is a potential wolf. Look out Silas, you're going to have to shave more than your face soon.

Monica: ::: LAUGHS ::: Again, this book isn't huge on subtlety. I was, however, sort of surprised at the way that Silas is being handled here. This doesn't really seem like a Seventh Son kind of book, in my opinion -- I would have expected something more along the lines of "Silas, your mother was once charmed by an attractive man with yellow eyes," or something like that....

Whoo! I'm not going to lie, guys -- this book is both super enjoyable, and super... dark. And kind of draining. I'm worried about what the next five chapters will bring, but don't worry. Shel and I are up for the challenge. ;)

Meet back here on Friday, and we'll see how the book progresses!

Literary Feast Discussion: Sisters Red (Chapters 1 - 5)

Welcome, faithful readers, to our first Sisters Red Literary Feast Discussion!

Ooooooooh!

Hunker on down here while Shel and I toss out our thoughts. And do feel free to add anything you want to -- this book seems like it's going to be stirring up some controversy, and the more people added to that kind of discussion, the better!

Ready? Here we go.

Shel: Wow, from page one Jackson does a good job of creating icky-creepy man vibes with her Fenris, werewolf guys.

Monica: Almost too creepy! Can’t you hear the ominous music starting as he leans causally on a fence post and stares all scary-like at the tasty little girls!?

Shel: I totally can. And as I imagine it, I also see great use of shadow and light. When Scarlet was off hunting alone in chapter one, I got a distinct Buffy vibe. That's a high compliment.

Monica: Except… Buffy usually had witty quips. I’m getting the feeling from Scarlett that her whole hunting vibe is a little more obsessive. Not that that’s a bad thing, necessarily, but humor doesn’t seem to be her forte.

Shel: This is true. Scarlett should have stayed in school. It could have helped with the wits (or at the very least given her time to be bored and thinks up witty comments). So are you a Scarlet or a Rosie, hmmm? Who do you relate to more?

Monica: Rosie all the way! Or… maybe neither, to be honest. I don’t know if I could be coerced into doing as much exercise as either of these girls seems to enjoy – I’m not really a “let’s work out and then throw knives and also run a little” kind of a person. You?

Shel: While I'm more inclined to like tough Scarlet, she does have a tendency to be too unforgiving. (And also, I took a criminal justice class, in which the prof was like "NEVER THROW YOUR WEAPON AT A PERP! THEN YOU ARE WEAPONLESS. THROWING KNIVES IS MOVIE BS. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS SACRED, HOLD ON TO YOUR KNIFE IF YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO CUT THE MO-FO AND LIVE!"

Monica (breaking into the rant): That... that's a really good point, actually. Wow. Not that I would know how to throw a knife anyway, but....

Shel: Plus, after Rosie was attacked and only managed to kill only one of the two Fenris, I'd hope my sister would be at least a little more concerned about my well-being. I'm already getting a bit of the "blame the victim" vibe coming off of her (and we haven't reached the scene The Book Smugglers were talking about yet). I think though, I'm going to operate with the hypothesis that what is at fault so far is Scarlet's characterization and not the underlying ideas of the book. My grad schooly argument: As someone who was a victim of attack herself and who was left marked and scarred by the experience, it is part of Scarlet's way of dealing with the trauma to never be the victim again and she has distanced herself from empathizing with others who might be in a similar feeling to avoid the motions of loss she might feel about herself. Or something. That might just be a bunch of crazy talk.

Monica: No, no, I think you 100% have it. That’s how I’m reading it, at least. (Of course, my thoughts were a little bit less classy. More like, “Ooh, remember the scene in 10 Things I Hate About You where Cat was talking about how she was unwilling to let her sister date boys because, having lost her virginity to the slimy sock model and had her heart broken, she refused to let anyone else close to her be hurt in the same way? This book is JUST LIKE THAT!”)

Shel: Oh, Ten Things I Hate About You! LOVE! I just saw the TV series on DVD actually. There's a little less to love there.

Monica: Seriously. Without Heath, what's the point?! Um. Back to the book?

Shel: Five bucks says the potential wolfie is Silas. Are you with me on this? Hmm, if we're going to bet though? Maybe we should bet five books, since those are more precious. No wait, I might not feel strongly enough about this bet to risk my books.

Monica: No. No way. Well, maybe. But I hope not! It would seem too cliched. Can you imagine Scarlett and Rosie standing there, all "We love you but we must destroy you because you have become an Evil Wolf and thus have no chance at redemption," and he's meanwhile trying to convince them it's just a flesh wound... Shel, I'm actually not sure at ALL that I will like this story, if he turns out to be the potential.

Shel: Don't think about it for now, then. I'm excited that Jackson Pearce seems to have done her research when it comes to her history of the folktale: She has the German background with Oma March. All the better that she used to tell the sisters folk, fairy tales and philosophical arguments at night. We also have vague allusions to the history of Little Red being a story about morality and what not.

Monica: Morality and sexuality. Don’t forget the latter. ;)

Shel: Chica-bee, I could never forget the sexuality.

So really, guys, in the first five chapters we have had creepy seduction, emotional scars as they relate to physical ones, back alley street fighting, spats between sisters, and, wait for it, a potential love interest. In the first five chapters. We'll do the next five for Wednesday, so get reading! Who knows what will happen!?

Literary Feast Discussion: I Am Number Four (Chapters 29-END)

I am so sorry this is late, Few But Dear Readers.  I know you were all waiting with bated breath to hear our opinions about the ending of I Am Number Four.  You probably passed out a couple of days ago while waiting.  But at least you've regained consciousness and have been discharged from the hospital by now.  


Would you believe that Monica and I just didn't want this literary feast to end?


No, you're clearly too smart of that.


Here are our final thoughts on the book.  Be warned, there are spoilers below.  And we'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

CHAPTER 29-THE END!

Shel: Okay, I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm totally half-assing it right now and am only skimming this book. But it's the bad kind of skimming. The kind when I'm mostly thinking about what I want to eat, and how I'll make an avocado cheese sandwich with mustard and Miracle Whip and how I hope we have the fancy deli bread because the Wonderbread kind means the sandwich will be too big, but I'll still feel obligated to eat it and maybe I should just eat a handful of baby carrots instead, when SUDDENLY I zoom in on a random sentence from the book to check what has been happening and "...Six seems to know what the rock is for. She takes her shirt off" (p. 361). What the hell?
Turns out Six was not actually getting naked. She was wearing a "rubber suit" underneath her shirt. But still, why do girls always have to take their shirts off during action scenes? It's like some gender...some non-girl gender seems to think we think better without wearing shirts.

Monica: Let's be fair, Captain Kirk always managed to get his shirt ripped off during the dramatic alien fight scenes... Plus, honestly, it's nice that Six is at least kicking some butt. The girls in this book have left something to be desired in terms of Action and Excitement ("Help, I'm trapped in a burning building with dogs!") so at least at the end the womenfolk get to see some fighting.

Shel: This is true.  I love it when the girls kick ass...but then, I forgot about my planned avocado cheese sandwich and I had to google images for "rubber suit," to see what popped up on the internets (while secretly hoping their might be a cartoon image of a giant condom so I could complain about how sick the internets is.
Alas, no condoms. Apparently I'm the only sick one. Aside from the images of Batman and Robin that popped up, this rubber suit did amuse me:

Monica: Focus, Shel, focus! I know you hate this book, but we must sort of review it! Our honor demands it! (Plus, I'm freaked out by the picture of our author, Pittacus Lore, doing his shady reflection thing on the back flap. I don't want him to come after us if we don't wrap up the Feast.)

Shel:  One more thing!  (This photo actually had the subheading "Never ever fart in a rubber suit" on MySpace. Good advice, I suppose. I hope Six knows that).

Monica: Sigh.

Shel: Throughout this 79-page action sequence, John has to flash his light hands on and off A LOT! I'm surprised nobody suffered from an epileptic fit with all the flashes.  (Notice that WHOLE comment was about the book!  I am a focus machine!)

Monica: ::: LAUGHS ::: It's the problem with having limited superhero powers. You have to use what you got, but it's not all that impressive. I imagine in the movie it will be very dramatic, and each flash will perhaps be accompanied by a loud whooshing noise. Children will be able to buy Number Four Flash Gloves at their local Toys R Us....

Shel: I keep zoning back into this book at the worst moments to misinterpret the text: "Something warm collects at the waistband of my pants" (p. 388). Turns out John had been stabbed. But since I'd interpreted the sentence very differently, I couldn't bring myself to care. Is my mind really that sick?

Monica: Yes. On the other hand, I can't blame you for skimming and zoning. Could this book be any longer? I feel like it's sneaking in extra chapters when my back is turned.

Shel: I can't believe it took 405-ish pages for John to figure out what exactly was going on with his badly named, but beloved dog. Dear John, next time just ask the read. We had it figured out over 300 pages ago.

Monica: He was busy, though! Um... learning how to make his hands flash! And making out with strawberry-chapstick girls!

Shel: Ummm, how exactly can Sam go on the adventure into book two with John and Six. Did I skim over some random explanation of what had happened about his mean mom?

Monica: I couldn't find an explanation either, and I actually went back and looked after you mentioned it. I can only assume that his mother snarked something in French out to him (Seriously, a rude French person? This is the best stereotype we could come up with?) and he took that as tacit permission to run off and seek his fortune.

Shel: P.S. I can't believe Henri is gone. He was the one character who amused me, if solely because Timothy Olyphant is playing him in the movie. You guys all saw my pretty interpretation of how wardrobe will be dressing him, right?

Monica: Don't worry, Shel! Maybe he'll come back in the next book! The next book that we're definitely going to read, right? RIGHT!?

...

No.

Thus endeth this literary feast.  It looks like Monica and I found a book that we would both rather spit out than after gnaw on ever again.


But hey, we're just two people.  We'd love to hear what you thought of I Am Number Four in the comments.


We'll be back with another literary feast...soon-ish.  We might have to wait for the bad taste of this book to leave our mouths first.

Literary Feast Discussion: I Am Number Four (Chapters 22 - 28)

For you, Faithful Readers. It's all for you. Shel and I are slogging our way through the endless -- ENDLESS -- pages of I am Number Four so that you at least have a little advanced warning before you open the darn thing yourself.

Don't say we didn't love you... and warn you.

Onward!

Shel: For some strange reason, I cannot stay away from the IMDb movie page. I think it's a sickness. My current distraction? The fact that Timothy Olyphant is going to play Henri. I love him! At first I thought he was shaming both of us by being a part of this movie. Then I realized, if his time on Deadwood is any indication, he could easily portray Henri's calmness. Here's how I imagine him looking:


He's in disguise, of course, he is on the run, after all. Henri, not Timothy Olyphant. I don't know anything about the actual actor's personal life.

Monica: But how could he keep a straight face (in the movie, not... not as he's wearing that outfit) during what I assume will be cliched and absolutely ridiculously written dialogue!? Stay away, Timothy! Stay awaaaaaaaaaay!!

Shel: But can you imagine him, doing the dialogue with a sexy French accent? Yum. It's clear that I am not a Timothy Olyphant stalker, right? I don't even know when he was born or his middle name.

Monica: Honey... you're a stalker. I love you, but it's true.

Shel: What is Timothy Olyphant's middle name?

Monica: David! His middle name is David! And he was born in Hawaii, and he likes long walks on the beach, and... and... and... Timothy! Call me!

Shel: Hey! Stay away from my stalkeree. Stalkey? Whatever the name is.... Also, IMDb kinda gave away the true identity of our "Pittacus Lore" author. Jobie Hughes (who?) and James Frey (of memoir vs. fiction fame?) are both listed with the novel credits. The book actually plays with this fact, because on page...268, one of John/Four's future alias's could be Jobie Frey.

Monica: Of course it's James Frey's fault! It makes total sense now! (Actually, I'm way happy about this. My Creative Nonfiction prof spent an entire semester bashing poor Frey, so I'm prepared to keep the loathing going if necessary.) However, I'm sort of confused. I guess I have no idea who Jobie Hughes is, but Frey is a decent author -- did they just... lose their way, writing this one?

Shel: They must have. I am so sick of reading the phrase,"kisses her on the cheek." Poor Sarah's cheeks must be dripping alien slobber. I get that they're lovey-dovey. Check. Message received. I also could have done without hearing how Sarah's lips taste like strawberry lip gloss. Lame.

Monica: You really are done with this book, aren't you? Taking your frustrations out on poor Sarah -- she can't help that she has been cast as the ultimate "Help me I'm a useless female" role! She'd probably way rather be getting gauges and dying her hair purple and developing her computer hacker skills, but she's stuck with Lip Smackers and whining.

Shel: But hang on! Speaking of Sarah, what's this? A casual mention that there may be an alien out there for John/Four to drool over? I sense a love triangle for book two!! (Not that I'll be reading book two. As my soul has been sucked enough. And we still haven't finished book one.)

Monica: You're not going to keep reading!? But there are going to be five more books!!! The adventure will not end until, you know, the world is saved!!!!

...

Seriously, I was done with this book after the first five chapters. I can't imagine if we had to keep reading, through the entire series. Do you think, Shel, that this will legitimately catch on? I know it was ranked high for a week or so on the Bestseller's List, but I can't decide if it was just hype that propelled it upward, rather than kids have a real interest in the book itself.

Shel: I think, whether or not we like it, it's still going to do well. Curse you, movie tie-in! Curse you for legitimizing an otherwise terrible book! Honestly, though, do you know what the growing fascination with the number four is about? Here's another sci-fi book that's due out in 2011:


Monica: Girl... I may need to look more carefully at it before I let you talk me into reading it. Don't want a repeat of this one!

Shel: I'm sorry! I'm so, so sorry! Is the book over yet?

Monica: Um. No. Not quite yet. Stay tuned for the dramatic conclusion.

We're really excited about it, obviously -- join us on Friday for our final thoughts on the book!