Audiobook Review: Rotters

Kraus, D.  (2011).  Rotters.  New York:  Delacorte Press.

448 pages.


Rotters won the 2012 Odyssey Award.  Since I was so in love with past audiobook winners like The True Meaning of Smekday and The True Diary of a Part-Time Indian, I made it a priority to listen to this year's winner.

When I first began listening, I was haunted by the feeling that I'd heard Kirby Heyborne's voice previously and that--for some as of yet unknown reason--I didn't like him.  I went to audible and searched through the books he's read for--and my goodness, there were a lot--and I figured it out.  He read one of the characters for a book that I absolutely detested--Leverage by Joshua C. Cohen.

I tried not to let that ruin the experience of Rotters.  But it wound up not mattering, because, I hated Rotters for reasons all its own.


Appetizer:  Sixteen-year-old Joey Crouch's mom has died and he is sent to Bloughton, Iowa to live with his father, a man Joey has never met and whose only known act was to deafen his mother in one ear.

After arriving in Iowa, Joey quickly learns that his father, Ken Harnett, is ostracized from the town and Joey finds himself in a similar position at the high school.  Accustomed to getting straight-A's, Joey is bullied by a teacher and other students.

Less than excited about the turn his life has taken, Joey seeks to discover what it is his father does.  The answer will take Joey into an underworld of grave robbers and into a different and scary new life.


Sooo, I hated this book.  Seriously, hated it.  First off, I thought it took way too long to get to the grave robbing portion.  Next, I found the entire story to be frustrating.  I hated most of the characters.  Hated the dark underworld Joey was entering.

I found myself wishing for zombies.  Or unicorns.  Or to be listening to a different book.

I eventually got my final wish.


Opening Quotation:

"This is the day my mother dies.  I can taste it right off:  salt on my lips, dried air, the AC having never been switched on because she died from heart failure while reclining in front of the television, sweating in her underwear, her last thought that she needed to turn on the air because por Joey must be roasting in his bedroom.  Pulmonary embolism:  it is what killed everyone on her side of the family and now it has killed her, while I slept, and this salt is the bitter taste of her goodbye.
Turns out, her heart is not what got her."  (p. 3).


Tasty Rating:  !

Literary Feast Discussion: I Am Number Four (Chapters 29-END)

I am so sorry this is late, Few But Dear Readers.  I know you were all waiting with bated breath to hear our opinions about the ending of I Am Number Four.  You probably passed out a couple of days ago while waiting.  But at least you've regained consciousness and have been discharged from the hospital by now.  


Would you believe that Monica and I just didn't want this literary feast to end?


No, you're clearly too smart of that.


Here are our final thoughts on the book.  Be warned, there are spoilers below.  And we'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

CHAPTER 29-THE END!

Shel: Okay, I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm totally half-assing it right now and am only skimming this book. But it's the bad kind of skimming. The kind when I'm mostly thinking about what I want to eat, and how I'll make an avocado cheese sandwich with mustard and Miracle Whip and how I hope we have the fancy deli bread because the Wonderbread kind means the sandwich will be too big, but I'll still feel obligated to eat it and maybe I should just eat a handful of baby carrots instead, when SUDDENLY I zoom in on a random sentence from the book to check what has been happening and "...Six seems to know what the rock is for. She takes her shirt off" (p. 361). What the hell?
Turns out Six was not actually getting naked. She was wearing a "rubber suit" underneath her shirt. But still, why do girls always have to take their shirts off during action scenes? It's like some gender...some non-girl gender seems to think we think better without wearing shirts.

Monica: Let's be fair, Captain Kirk always managed to get his shirt ripped off during the dramatic alien fight scenes... Plus, honestly, it's nice that Six is at least kicking some butt. The girls in this book have left something to be desired in terms of Action and Excitement ("Help, I'm trapped in a burning building with dogs!") so at least at the end the womenfolk get to see some fighting.

Shel: This is true.  I love it when the girls kick ass...but then, I forgot about my planned avocado cheese sandwich and I had to google images for "rubber suit," to see what popped up on the internets (while secretly hoping their might be a cartoon image of a giant condom so I could complain about how sick the internets is.
Alas, no condoms. Apparently I'm the only sick one. Aside from the images of Batman and Robin that popped up, this rubber suit did amuse me:

Monica: Focus, Shel, focus! I know you hate this book, but we must sort of review it! Our honor demands it! (Plus, I'm freaked out by the picture of our author, Pittacus Lore, doing his shady reflection thing on the back flap. I don't want him to come after us if we don't wrap up the Feast.)

Shel:  One more thing!  (This photo actually had the subheading "Never ever fart in a rubber suit" on MySpace. Good advice, I suppose. I hope Six knows that).

Monica: Sigh.

Shel: Throughout this 79-page action sequence, John has to flash his light hands on and off A LOT! I'm surprised nobody suffered from an epileptic fit with all the flashes.  (Notice that WHOLE comment was about the book!  I am a focus machine!)

Monica: ::: LAUGHS ::: It's the problem with having limited superhero powers. You have to use what you got, but it's not all that impressive. I imagine in the movie it will be very dramatic, and each flash will perhaps be accompanied by a loud whooshing noise. Children will be able to buy Number Four Flash Gloves at their local Toys R Us....

Shel: I keep zoning back into this book at the worst moments to misinterpret the text: "Something warm collects at the waistband of my pants" (p. 388). Turns out John had been stabbed. But since I'd interpreted the sentence very differently, I couldn't bring myself to care. Is my mind really that sick?

Monica: Yes. On the other hand, I can't blame you for skimming and zoning. Could this book be any longer? I feel like it's sneaking in extra chapters when my back is turned.

Shel: I can't believe it took 405-ish pages for John to figure out what exactly was going on with his badly named, but beloved dog. Dear John, next time just ask the read. We had it figured out over 300 pages ago.

Monica: He was busy, though! Um... learning how to make his hands flash! And making out with strawberry-chapstick girls!

Shel: Ummm, how exactly can Sam go on the adventure into book two with John and Six. Did I skim over some random explanation of what had happened about his mean mom?

Monica: I couldn't find an explanation either, and I actually went back and looked after you mentioned it. I can only assume that his mother snarked something in French out to him (Seriously, a rude French person? This is the best stereotype we could come up with?) and he took that as tacit permission to run off and seek his fortune.

Shel: P.S. I can't believe Henri is gone. He was the one character who amused me, if solely because Timothy Olyphant is playing him in the movie. You guys all saw my pretty interpretation of how wardrobe will be dressing him, right?

Monica: Don't worry, Shel! Maybe he'll come back in the next book! The next book that we're definitely going to read, right? RIGHT!?

...

No.

Thus endeth this literary feast.  It looks like Monica and I found a book that we would both rather spit out than after gnaw on ever again.


But hey, we're just two people.  We'd love to hear what you thought of I Am Number Four in the comments.


We'll be back with another literary feast...soon-ish.  We might have to wait for the bad taste of this book to leave our mouths first.

REVIEW: 365 Penguins

Fromental, J.L. & Jolivet, J.  (2006).  365 Penguins.  New York:  Abrams Books for Young Readers.

081094460x


Appetizer:  On the first day of the new year, a family received an anonymous surprise in the mail:  Penguin number 1.  The little beasty needs to be cared for, which the family does, only to be surprised the next day with another delivery, Penguin number 2.  And on and on, the family keeps receiving another penguin everyday.

I was very excited when I first saw this book online, and even more excited when I got my hands on a physical copy.  365 Penguins is much larger than the average picturebook and thicker.  Some wee little ones may even have trouble holding it up...in a fun "look this book can conceal most of my upper-body" kinda way.  I also liked the black, white and orange color scheme.

My excitement dulled a little though, after I opened to the first few pages.  There's a lot more text on each page than I was expecting.  And it's spread out around the page, making the book much more busy than it has to be.  Also, the illustrations get more and more difficult to take in because there are so many different actions on each page and because the pages are so big.

While I initially thought the book would be great for preschoolers or kindergartners to help with counting, as I read, I soon learned there was some more advanced math, double-digit addition, some multiplications, etc.  Way beyond the skills of the wee kindergartners.  But at the same time, I think the story problems and illustrations wouldn't really rock second or third graders' worlds for too long either.

So, basically, I'm having trouble knowing the age appropriateness of this book.  I think a teacher could still use this book across all these ages, he or she would just have to focus on the math questions that are grade-appropriate, but I do feel that not restricting the types of math questions to a certain level is to the book's detriment.


Dinner Conversation:

"On New Year's Day, at nine o'clock in the morning, a delivery man rang our doorbell."

"I'm number 2 and like number 1, I need you to take care of me."

"This time the note said, "There's always a 3 after a 2.  Please take care that I don't catch the flue.""

"February has only twenty-eight days.  Each morning another penguin arrived.  That made:
31+28=??"


To Go with the Meal:

This would be a good book to help first, second and third graders to count, do some additions and multiplication, to understand the number of days there are in a week, each month and year.

Students could also do the addition and multiplication problems the text encourages by adding up the number of penguins, the cost of their food, etc.

Through listening to this book, young readers will also get a small insight into the responsibility of caring for a pet (or MANY pets, as the case may be).  In reaction to hearing the book, students could discuss their own pets, their ideal pet and the names they would (or have) given them.

A teacher could also lecture on global warming and pair sharing this book with March of the Penguins or another appropriate documentary.  (But still, despite this message (that I love to see in books for all ages) it's presented as a mallet hitting the reader over the head in the form of almost a full-page of text as a character (who isn't introduced to the very end of the book), explains EVERYTHING--ugh.)

And despite the environmental message, the frustrated family threatens violence or inhumane storage for the penguins throughout the story.  That, ah, kinda counteracts the environmental message.  Just a little.


Tasty Rating:  !

Certified Resolution Writing Endeavor Review Report: Week Thirty-Six

Oh, long weekends.  How you confuse me.  As though I don't already have enough trouble remembering what day it is.

Last week, my submissions were to short story and poetry competitions. I usually avoid these. Mostly because they cost money to enter. Money that few people, and especially I, as an unpaid writer and grad student, don't have much of. Plus I have yet to win or even place in any of these things. I have to admit though, aside from wanting my damn money back with each contest rejection, they do send out the nicest rejection letters.  They tend to seem much more sympathetic and sorrowful than most rejections, as though they'd like to accept you, but they can't count beyond three, or ten, or however many honorable mentions they're going to give and as though they'd like to give me award money, but they too are too financially strapped to afford it.  So, here, instead accept this book/magazine/journal for free...It doesn't include my story, but it does have the ones the judges felt were only slightly more enjoyable than your work.

As for this week, I spent all of yesterday editing the novel in poems that I wrote several years ago, trying to parse down the word count so I could send it off to a certain competition.  I really like narrative poems.  There's nothing like being able to edit an entire novel in one day even though you should be doing other work.

In other news, you may notice some changes are afoot on the blog.  Although I am naturally opposed to rating systems for books, I've decided to implement one of my own.  It'll be in exclamation points, because that's a language I understand.

A summary is to the left, but to make things simple !!!!! = LOVE,  ! = HATE.  It may take some time for the new system to actually make an appearance in the reviews.

You'll also notice some more changes to come in the future of this blog.  But you'll have to wait for the big announcement...which will be made on an unknown day at some yet to be determined time.  Get comfy.  It may be a long ride.

And don't forget!  Tomorrow is International Literacy Day!  

REVIEW: The Vampire Diaries

Smith, L.J. (1991). The Vampire Diaries: The Awakening and The Struggle. New York: HarperTeen.

9780061140976

Tell me if you’ve heard this plot? Teenage girl is strangely attracted to the smart, dangerous, supernaturally-powerful and rich outsider at her school who initially resists his special attraction to her. The eventual and tentative relationship is challenged by another equally powerful and attractive male love interest, forming a love triangle that will drive the rest of the series. Who will she choose who will she chose? Oh yeah, and the writing about all of this conflict, it’s mediocre. I wonder if Stephenie Meyer has read The Vampire Diaries. (It’s possible the answer is no. other (adult) vampire books tend to have the same love triangle themes as well (See Anita Blake Vampire Hunter, Sookie Stackhouse of The Southern Vampire series, etc.)

Published over ten years before the Twilight series, Vampire Diaries has a lot of similarities. But where Bella was angsty and co-dependent, Elena is obsessive, manipulative and the self-described “queen of the school” somehow causing me to dislike her even more than Bella. I didn’t find Elena relatable or redeemable until the end when she was actually contributing to fighting-the-good-fight (unlike other mortal female protagonists in other vampire series).
Still, Elena’s repeated thoughts about possessing Stefan (vampire love interest #1) or dying annoyed me. Her tendency to develop plans to get him and spread false rumors didn’t exactly impress me either. I could see some twelve or thirteen-year-old girls managing to see past all of this in their desire to become a popular high school student. Eventually, I was able to get over my dislike for her when the plot picked up and the dramazz started and Elena decided to make the effort to be less self-involved. But that was around page 150. Now I know part of the point of a novel is that a character changes. Learns. Becomes a better person. Whatever. But I gotta still be able to engage with the character pre-change. And I personally had trouble doing that with Elena. Of course, this could all just be me. Anyone read it? Got something to say? Did Elena float your boat?

The series starts with Elena, arriving home after spending the summer in France. She lives wither her aunt and young sister, since her parents are mysteriously dead. (Yet somehow the way this fact is presented somehow managed to prevent me from sympathizing with the character. Hard to believe, I know). When she returns to school she reclaims her title as “Queen,” and becomes fascinated with the new boy, Stefan, who is also secretly attracted to her, in part because she looks almost exactly like a girl he and his older brother, Damon, had loved when they became vampires during The Renaissance in Italy. Throughout the book, the reader is positioned with Elena, reading from her diary. From time to time, though the reader also gets to see into Stefan’s mind and see his past, including how he became a vampire. Readers will find that the end of the book does not resolve any of the conflict, but that they must continue on to The Struggle and then to The Fury and Dark Reunion.

The reason I chose to start reading this series is because the CW has chosen to turn it into a TV series. They’ve turned a bad YA book series into a successful TV series before. I couldn’t read past page six of the first book of Cecily von Ziegesar’s Gossip Girl series, but I will only slightly-reluctantly admit to enjoying the TV series. So, I actually find myself looking hopefully (but still suspiciously) forward to the fall for a couple of reasons. Honestly, it’d take a lot of effort on the CW’s part to make the series worse. Plus, there are a lot of good conflicts and themes to work with, once Elena stops being self-involved. And after all, the CW (formerly the WB) did give me Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the series that started my fascination with vampires and helped me survive high school.

In terms of reading the Vampire Diary series, I stopped after The Awakening even though there was no resolution and The Struggle was incorporated to be in the same giant book when the books were republished. Of course, I put down Twilight and didn’t think I’d continue on to the rest of the series. That turned out not to be the case. The conflicts at the end did entertain me, so I’ll probably end up picking up this series again down the road.

Rambling done.  For now.  I promise.


Activities to do with the book:

This is a good book recommendation for students who have fallen in love with the Twilight series. There are a lot of the similar themes and plot devices throughout both series.


Favorite Quotes:

“Dear Diary,
Soemthign awful is going to happen today.
I don’t know why I wrote that” (p. 3).

“Interesting things happen in the dark…sometimes” (p. 164).

REVIEW: Mascot to the Rescue!

David, P. (2008). Mascot to the Rescue. New York: Laura Geringer Books.

9780061349119

Mascot goes beyond lighthearted imaginative superhero play to blurring the line between Josh having imaginative fun and psychological need to help deal with his parents’ recent divorce. After trying to save a new girl, Kelsey, from some bullies, Josh learns that his favorite character, the sidekick Mascot, is going to be killed-off from the comic book series. Having such a strong connection with Mascot, Josh fears for his own life as well as the character’s and takes his new friend Kelsey on a quest to the comic book’s publisher to save Mascot and himself.

More so, Mascot explores the experience of young outsiders, developing friendships and psychological support.

While it's clear that Peter David loves comics, the overall writing of Mascot to the Rescue! is mediocre, often telling in place of showing. The story follows multiple perspectives, including those of adults. But even when in the heads of Josh or Kelsey, the narrative doesn’t quite manage to feel as though it is in a child’s voice. This could, in part, be because of the emphasis on psychological well-being.

The story also includes moments in italics when Josh falls back on pretending to be Mascot.


Activities to do with the book:

As with other superhero narratives, students could create their own superhero narratives in response, creating their own heroes, challenges and illustrations.

This book could open up discussion on how to deal with parents’ divorce, or how while imagination may be a key to dealing with all matter of issues, it still must be balanced with other outlets or therapies.

A teacher could touch on the power that literature has to influence people’s or discuss where authors get ideas for their stories.


Favorite Quotes

“What’s so wonderful about the real world anyway? So many terrible things happen. At least he’s reading! At least he’s spending his time doing something other than hanging out on the internet” (p. 17).

“And the way I figure it,” he said, holding up the latest issue, “if Mascot can get through all the stuff that he has to deal with…then I can get through all of mine” (p. 31).

“Well, we’ve got to find out.”
“How?”
“On the internet. That’s how you find out everything” (p. 44).

Tasty Rating Explanation!!!!! !!!! !!! !! !

!!!!!      Seconds, please!!!!!  Thirds?  How about fourths?

!!!!        Delicious, nutritious and filling.  Plus, with a cherry on top.

!!!          A good tasty meal.  What you'd expect.

!!           Maybe I'll have a small portion.

!             Sustenance, but I think I'm hungry for something else.




Or in other terms...


!!!!!            I want to marry this book/character/author right now, my love is so great!  Give 
                   me seconds, thirds, or fourths, with a cherry on top!  

!!!!             I love this book but I don't know if I'm in love with this book!  I'd definitely 

                   consider having a cup of coffee after dinner with it.

!!!              Let's be friends. I'd braid this book's hair, while watching movies and munching on 

                  snacks!

!!                I went on one awkward date with this book. The key word is awkward!  I ate 

                   quickly, so the date would end sooner.

!                 The dreaded ex!  Check, please.